I look in the mirror every morning before I jump in the shower & mostly I look at what I see with despair sometimes even disgust .

I know it sounds awful ! But it’s the absolute truth.

Change for me is tough, but not making a change in this part of my life would be devastating .For two reasons.

1 Because having a toxic inner dialogue is exhausting & harmful

2 Because I have to be a mentor to my 2 little girls , who will 100 % follow by my example,so best I get on the change train and start shifting this mindset ...

HOW to make the change is the big question ??

I have done extensive research over the years (not knowing it was research for this blog)with the women in my life .

What do we all talk about ?

There are 3 biggies

1. Our partners 
2. Our kids
3. Our bodies, what we eat , what we don’t eat , what new diet we are on, what new exercise program we’ve started etc etc.


What has always bothered me, is that there are tons of programs on how to change your body, how to get thinner, fitter , etc (I’m constantly trying to change my body) 

But there  is no program out there that teaches me to be ok with me as I am right now. How to love myself despite the few extra pounds sitting on my hips and belly ?
The truth is I’m forever trying to lose a kilo to sculpt that perfect body, but living in that perfect body every day forever is simply not going to happen for me. Why that is you ask ? why am I  being so negative ?? …not negative people, REAL and healthier for ME

In order for me to have my idea of a perfect body, I have to eat 100 % perfectly 100% of the time, and exercise hard ! 100 % of the time 5 days a week.

Who the hell has the time for this or the will power?

A normal weekday in my life ... 
Wake up 6am get my big girl ready for school, get myself ready to take one of my girls to school (my hubby and I alternate If I’m not with the one girl,I’m with the other)

Take one of my girls to school, work between fetching my girls, fetch my girls from school,take them to extra murals or bring them home to eat lunch. Try play with them a bit , eat lunch while doing homework. Run to the shops to get food. Make supper .Bath my girls. Make sure they have eaten supper ,put one or both of them to sleep.Work in between , try get a workout in here or there . Speak to my besties,sisters,mother,mother in law, father, husband in between somewhere . Try remember every sister, mother , husbands kids birthday, party, kids activity, friends problems, families problems, normal monthly admin . . .

Work out before 6am... no ways, I’m sleeping at 11/12 at night, those 6 hours are precious !!

Work out at night while kids are sleeping, no thanks too tired, too busy on my phone working or having an hour of time out , time to read ,watch an episode of something mind numbing.  .

I can realistically fit a good work out in 2/3 times a week. Which leaves me with the issue, of wanting the perfect body, and not really having the time and energy to actually maintain it.

Which leaves me with two options:

Eat perfectly!(like, perfectly ,eeek) And exercise 3 times a week.

Eat perfectly? nope can’t manage that either. I want my chai latte and to eat my carrot cake too:)


That leaves me with this.

Eat well 70-80 %, train well 70-80 %. That leaves me with a 30% shortfall.

If the perfect body is 100% then im settling for 70% . in SA that's a B average in school guys, Im ok with a B, if I’m getting A+’s in other aspects of my life that are really fullfilling, like momming, marriage, relationships, and business that to me is the perfect balance!

So now that I have decided that I will be getting a solid B in the body department… how can I look at myself and feel true love and acceptance. Not easy for me I can tell you for sure. It’s much easier bullying myself then being kind.. why is that?

I have found that bullying myself gets me on track ,whips me into shape. Somehow telling myself I’m gross or disgusting is like the bullets of my loaded gun, my excess weight being the target.

Problem is I’m missing the bullseye because I’m holding a loaded gun, and I should be holding a watering can and a delicate flower .

This constant self shaming is really just a bad habit..the hardest I have ever needed to break.I’m so exhausted and bored listening to my own body shaming and the guilt I feel after eating anything that doesn’t fit into the perfect body eating plan. My people who love me are tired of it too. 

If I look at the way I speak to and teach my children, my approach has always been one of nourishment, honesty, strength, nurture and kindness, which  they respond well to..every single god damn time my beautiful friends!

If that approach works with my kids, why wouldn’t it work on me. . .

I know it would. But the idea of reaching my goal at bullet speed, is far more appealing then getting there starting off as a seed, growing gently, slowly and naturally.
Or maybe not..slow requires more patience, but is far more sustainable

So Im selling my gun and going to the nursery.

I have come up with a few steps to try implement in my own life to grow love for myself I hope this helps you too. 

1. First thought of the day.
Positive thinking works…seriously..

Wake up with an encouraging message to yourself. Kick starting your day with a positive message to yourself will give you brilliant nourishing momentum for your entire day. Why not start your day with uplifting\ encouraging words. Positivity breeds positivity, trash breeds flies, you get the drift . Positive affirmations work.


Recite your encouraging words out loud or in your head lying in your bed before you get up in the morning, or while brushing your teeth or having a shower.

(put your fingers in the om position as an added extra while speaking to yourself, this helps with relaxation and finding your centre )

It may feel strange when you start out, but once you make it a habit, it becomes easy and enjoyable

Some suggestions:

I feel healthy and strong today

I am living my best life

I am patient and calm and looking forward to today

Today I choose happiness

Today I choose to nourish my body with delicious healthy food

I am manifesting my dream life

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am positive

I have enough time

Everything is working out for me

Every day and in every way I get better and better and better

I am joyful

I workout to strengthen my body and free my mind

I live a life of abundance

I do everything with intention

I spend time in nature

I am full of energy

I am loved. I am safe. I am here. (hand on heart)

I am relaxed

I breath

I am a wonderful mother, friend, wife, daughter, colleague, boss, partner

I am awesome!!

I love you, I am enough


2. Social media detox! Stop “Following” negativity


Following celebrities and influencers is entertaining and mind numbing but really damaging your self esteem. That flawless skin, perfect body and glamorous life you’re drawn to is all filtered,unrealistic and not yours. Those accounts are making you question your real beautiful life and bringing you down




1. Have a good look at your social media feeds,and bring attention to the way you are feeling when you began scrolling and after scrolling.


2. Make yourself aware of the feeling each person and page gives you after looking at their images. You will probably find a whole lot of pages that don’t make you feel good.


3. Clean out that dusty toxic Following list. Unfollow any account that leaves you feeling unhappy &uncertain aboutyourself


4. Replace negative accounts with inspiring accounts that will nourish you & make you feel awesome! Open up your social spectrum to a world of positive people, hashtags and accounts.


5. Be selective of the accounts that you follow. Your joy &mindset are determined by everything you see, hear and read.


3. Eating mindfully. Before, during and after eating.

How often we eat a packet of crisps with our kids because they are just sitting there, and before you know it you’ve finished the entire packet without even realizing it.. a lack on consciousness

Eating every bite of food has to be done with intention and true consciousness…


1. Before eating or drinking anthing,be mindful of your stomach and body. Before eating or drinking anything ask yourself: Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Do I feel bloated?AmI low in energy Etc.

2. Choose wisely. Every single thing that goes passed your lips is a form of energy measured by calories & contains a number of ingredients.Whatever you are about to eat has a consequence. Not only will it affect your weight but also your energy levels ,your digestive system and your mood.Before eating anything remind yourself that food is a choice  & ask yourself what the result of that food choice will be.
3. Read food labels! Most foods have hidden ingredients like sugars & chemicals that we don’t know are hiding in there. This is so important for your health & weight. You would rather eat a tomato sauce without sugar then with etc. Looking at the calorie count on every food item will educate you too. Often what you think is very healthy or low in calories is actually extremely high in calories or really unhealthy. Those bran muffins that you love so much ? check out their ingredients and cals , you will be shocked. Doing this will change the way you select your ingredients & will have a massive effect on your bodies long term health.
4. Eat mindfully. We often are distracted while eating. Watching our kids, on our phones, watching tv, talking to a friend. Focusing on every bite,allowing yourself a few moments of quiet while you eat your meals and snacks will ensure you don’t overeat, and will allow you to enjoy your food more.
5. After eating take stock of how your body feels. Did the food you eat make you feel full? Bloated ? light? Low in energy?Aweome! Our energy levels are mostly dependent on what we eat. The only way to keep your energy levels high is to listen to what your body needs. Ever eat lunch and half an hour later you are exhausted? Chances are you’ve spiked your sugar levels(glucose) because of the foods you have eaten. If you know which foods effect your body negatively, you will most likely avoid them.The only way to do this is to be mindful after eating


4)Plan ahead. Meal planning. Taking stock of what you have in the fridge

You are starving, you go to your fridge and think to yourself..theres nothing to eatJ So you go straight for the easiest option. A packet of chips, a sandwhich, a fruit, a piece of cheese etc.

1. Planning your meals Monday to Friday a week ahead helpsyou to manage your time better. It reduces the amount of food waste. It reduces the stress of cooking last minute.Itsaves money.It avoids unhealthy options.It allows you to enjoy more variety. There is absolutely no downside !

2. Shopping for your ingredients a week in advance fills the pantry and fridge with healthy options and forces you to stick to your plan. If you have that white fish and asparagus in the fridge for Tuesday dinner( JB balance week 1 and 2 Tuesday dinner) chances are you’re going to make the fish and steam the asparagus and eat that for dinner, instead of ordering in from your closest sushi or pizza joint.Even if you have a healthy take out option, there are hidden ingredients in “healthy” take out food that you are unaware of.
3. Sort out your fridge and pantry so that you can see what you already have before going out and buying doubles. Use the fresh stuff you have already before starting on a whole new plan. Wasting food IS NOT COOL.

( see our Pantry cleanse tips )

4. Whats in the pantry and fridge? NOONE can say no to a delicious gooey bar of chocolate . If you keep it at home you are not giving yourself a fair chance to stay clean and healthy. If you have unhealthy snacks and treats in your pantry, bottom line is ,youre going to eat them. If you want to stay in shape,have beautiful glowing skin, feel great and full of energy then give away all your unhealthy treats and snacks or lock them in a box and hide them awayJ. Buy 1 or 2 special treats on the weekend ,not a few days in advance. Balance is key to living a happy healthy life. Treats are allowed, but try to enjoy 1 or 2 on weekends only or keep them for special occasions.ALCOHOL IS A TREAT , don’t forget it.Its there to be enjoyed on special occasions and as a luxury now and again. (For people with addictive natures or pasts, please refrain from any alcohol intake. ALCOHOL IS ADDICTIVE)

JB BALANCE weekly meal plan, plans your meals for you , the meals are delicious, easy and calorie conscious. The meal plans provide you with a meal plan for 5 days at a time breakfast lunch and supper and also provide you with the shopping list for that week. A once off payment of R150 /$7. NO SUBSCRIPTIONS NO HIDDEN COSTS. Just 1 meal plan for your family for 1 week.



1. Schedule a time in the week for 1 hour to plan your weeks meal and 1 hour to do your shopping (you may need longer depending on how big your shop is )
2. Write down breakfast lunch and supper Monday – Friday
3. Choose your recipes and write down the ingredients you need. Check the stock in your fridge and pantry to see what you already have.



5)Pantry and fridge cleanse.




1. Take everything out of your pantry and fridge and toss out anything that is passed the expiry date
2. Divide everything into categories : Cereals and porridge, flours, baking, rice and pasta,healthy snacks , treats, spices, tins, bottle veg, condiments, oils, plastics foil and napkins, medicine and vitamins
3. Use square and rectangular containers without lids to separate all the categories (used ice cream buckets , store bought containers whatever you can get your hands on to divide all your ingredients.
4. Label every category . You can use a label maker, printed from home labels or tape and a marker.
5. Put everything back into the pantry. Items that you use daily must be at eye level. Ingredients you hardly use must be placed up high, and items you use now and again should go at the very bottom.


5.Plan ahead. Exercise planning. Taking stock of what you have, your body and mind


1. Planning your exercise is just like planning your meals Monday to Sunday a week ahead. It helps you to manage your time better. Knowing you have a set time in your diary to train will get you to the mat, bike, gym etc. There is absolutely no downside !
2. Find a training partner/s. Exercising alone is wonderful! If you are disciplined, which I definitely am notJ. If you have a set time and day of the week planned with a friend to workout together, you are far more likely to do the workout with your friend if you know shes waiting for you as opposed to knowing that the mat is in your cupboard without having to be accountable to anyone. In theory itsgreat to be able to have the discipline to get up and work out every day alone. But it is far more practical to have someone to count on you and visa versa to get those work outs in.
3. Variety is key. When planning your work outs variety in :location, type of workouts and the people you are working out with helps keep exercise fun without it getting boring. The minute you aren’t enjoying your workouts is the minute you are going to give up.



 1. If it’s not in writing it doesn’t exist.Get yourself a small journal to write down your goals. Big goals like “I want to run a marathon” are fantastic! But it’s the small daily goals that make the big goals possible.

Small daily goals aren’t intimidating and are actually achievable. Small goal:today I’m going to walk 2kms’ and run 500 metres”

Big goal.. “I want a flat stomach by summer”  small goal “ today Im going to do 50 crunches”.

If you write it down and date it, you can follow your progress and the big goals can become real, sooner thenyou think.

2. Choose your exercise program. Try mixing it up. Weights, yoga, walks, runs, cycling, hiking, tennis. The world is your oyster. There are millions of free videos online to follow.

Be specific in your exercise regime. If you want to tighten up that booty, then plan a glute session using weights. Want to run a half marathon? Schedule in a run and set km goals. Resistance training is a great way to see changes in your body. 

3. Choose your training friend/s and lock in a time with them in the diary every week 3 times a week minimum.
4. Commit to your gym buddy and don’t let her down


5. Workouts at a time that works for you, where you feel the most energized.

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